CHARISSA J. ADAMS

A Lesson in Acting: Improv 101

I used to avoid doing improv like the plague. Why?

Somehow, somewhere along the line, I got the idea that I’m not funny, or at least that I wasn’t the token “funny one” in the group, so naturally I would be terrible at improv, right? I couldn’t handle the pressure of making people laugh. Well, as any improvisor will tell you, that isn’t the point. If you are trying to make people laugh, you probably won’t. AND …..don’t tell anyone, but …a few people have actually told me that I might be kind of funny…sometimes. So I just need to get over myself.
Secondly, I was afraid. Afraid of failing. Let’s face it, improv is high risk! No one knows what is going to happen next. If you can’t handle that…. you probably need to face your fear, and JUST DO IT!!!
Lastly, I didn’t see how it had anything to do with my actual acting career. Well, when I got to LA and started asking people what someone needed to do to pursue a career in comedy, what was THE ONE thing everyone said? That’s right. IMPROV TRAINING.

Okay. So I decided to bite the bullet and do it! I signed up for Upright Citizen Brigade’s Improv 101 Intensive. Eight 3 hour classes in two weeks, ending with a performance.
I let go of that view of myself (funny or not), faced my fear, and learned a lot about acting in the process.

“Yes, and…!” The basic principle of improv. Agreement and addition. I saw this and experienced it repeatedly; if you are (artistically) fighting with your scene partner over wherever the scene is going, nothing good or interesting comes of it. (There’s a difference between the actor disagreeing and the character disagreeing. Actors disagreeing is embarrassing. Characters disagreeing is interesting.) I used to do this a lot on stage, kind of direct my scene partner, internally, and act at the same time. It doesn’t work. Commit. Be in the moment. Surrender to the story.
Take a point of view and stick with it. If fighting (artistically) with your scene partner over an opposite idea is deadly, having no idea can be even worse. Saying “I don’t know” in your head or out loud always diffuses any energy the story has. Your scene partner is throwing you a ball; if you are a pile a goo, you’ll be stuck in wishy-washy land forever. Be the player that bounces the ball back! How many times have you heard an acting teacher or director say, “Make a choice!” It’s true. Make a choice and commit to it! That’s when you can play.
The more specific the better: names, how it makes you feel, descriptions. Details bring images alive. We thrive on images. Create pictures for each other and the audience. Same with characters from a script. The more specific we are, the more interesting a story becomes.
Find what’s unusual. In improv, this is how the “game” is found. However, this is the same principle with creating a character from a script. What makes this situation or person unique? Get specific. Add details.
If this is true, what else is true? This is the “and” part of “Yes, and…” When adding to a story, follow a logical train of thought. In improv, sitcoms, or slap-stick comedy the situation is often taken to an extreme, but it is still follows the logical path down a certain trajectory. Same with acting choices with a script. We are given specific information in the script. Ask, “If this is true, what else is true?” I used to make pretty arbitrary choices, just to be different or creative, except the arbitrary choices didn’t serve the script/story. They ended up being a distraction. The road map is there. Find it and expand on it.
Ground it in reality. One of the pitfalls of beginning improvisors, myself included, is going with the most outrageous idea ever, just because you can!!! This may be an entertaining idea (in your head), however, the audience starts to detach if things get too crazy or bizarre. One of our teachers said, “We always pursue pleasure over pain.” That’s what it means to be human. Find that truthful place. As actors, all we have is ourselves. Use yourself. Connect your character and your scene to what you know. Ground it in reality and go from there.
Don’t pimp out your scene partner. This is a fun one. Telling your scene partner, “Show me how you do that sex position,” “How do you sing that song?” “You know that dance routine, right?” is just putting everyone in an awkward position. Basically, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Same goes for when working on stage or in front of the camera, don’t leave your partner hanging or be goofing off in the corner. Be there for them. Saying “We’re in it together!”
Listen! Easier said than done. I think the key here is having an outward focus, rather than an inward focus. As an actor, it’s so easy to get caught up in what I’m doing and evaluating it. Instead, the best thing to do is focus on the other person. What are they saying? What do they want? This is a good lesson in life as well as acting.

I had a blast in this class! I met awesome people. I faced my fears and challenged myself to push through, especially when I sucked. And our performance was pretty decent! I’m proud of myself and my fellow classmates. We grew a lot in two weeks. I want more! Soon I’m hoping to take Improv 201 soon and I’ll be looking for more improv opportunities along the way. If you’re shying away from improv, maybe improv is exactly what you need to do!

Training: My Wish List

My perspective on training has certainly shifted since coming to LA. Everyone here is taking classes. Now, maybe you think that is because people are taking advantage of the poor actor and extorting him/her for all he/she is worth. There will always be people doing that, especially in this town. HOWEVER, there are some freaking amazing teachers in this town and you are either penniless, too timid or too proud if you don’t take advantage of learning from the best of the best. In this town, it seems like everyone takes specific or ongoing classes in leu of a bachelors or masters. Hey, I have a lot of affection for my little theatre program and the people that I met there, but I have to say that there is so much more that I need to know for my career than what I learned there. In Seattle, it seems to me that ongoing training is not highly valued. Of course it can’t hurt, but I never got the idea that it was necessary. As long as you get cast, neither the need nor the expectation was there. Last year, because I wasn’t getting cast where I wanted to, I started to desire more training. These are the options that I found in Seattle.

Charles Waxberg with Theatre 9/12. He hosts an ongoing class (the only one I know of in Seattle) which uses scenes as a means by which to study the Stella Adler technique.
Freehold. They offer a wide range of classes from Voice to Meisner. If you have a specific aspect of your craft you want to work on, you can probably find a class that addresses it there. Often the faculty there offer coaching too.
David S. Hogan, Angela DiMarco and Tony Doupe with Mighty Tripod Productions. They now offer on-camera classes for adults and children. I am sure they have some other courses up their sleeves as well, so stay tuned. They are committed to raising the bar in Seattle!
Steven Anderson with Actorswork. Steven teaches in LA on a regular basis, but travels up to Seattle every few months to do weekend intensives.

These are the main places, that I know of, where a professional actor can study outside of college in Seattle.
In LA, I learned very quickly that ongoing training is an expectation. Agents and Managers ask you who you are studying with. The name of the teacher is less important than the fact that you are studying and improving your craft. The competition is so fierce here that there isn’t room for laziness or complacency. “YOU MUST TRAIN” is the motto. Athletes train. We should be held to just as high a standard.
As for the teachers here, I don’t even know where to begin. I have barely scratched the surface of all the acting teachers here. However, I have had the chance audit and visit a few. (If money were infinite)… Here is my acting class wish list in LA:

Lesly Kahn. She offers a Triage session to assess where you are at and what you should work on (with her or with other teachers in town for Improv or Commercials). Lesly is keenly perceptive and will not shy away from telling you exactly what’s wrong, even if it isn’t your acting, but some other facet that might keep you from getting cast. I left feeling like she would be able to address my specific bad acting habits and mental traps and be able to steer me in the right direction. Can’t wait to take classes from her!
Annie Grindlay. I visited a free workshop she offers, which explains a bit of her methodology. She addresses the acting technique through the lens of your audition experience. This seemed especially helpful to me because how to do we get work? By auditioning. If you can’t audition well, you can’t work. I loved her!
Stephen Book. He offers a free seminar every time he accepts new students (only every 18 months or so) to demonstrate his methodology. He approaches acting through the lens of improv and spontaneity. Over the course of two years with the same students he teaches exercises, tools and structures by which to approach scripted work. I was fascinated by this idea, very tempted to sign up for the class, but not ready to make a two year commitment. I hope to be able to in another 18 months.
Anthony Meindl’s Actor Workshop. I was able to audit his class and was fascinated by what I found. He teaches in almost the complete opposite way of the traditional 20th century acting technique because he bases a lot of what he teaches on science. From watching the class I am not sure what the basics are, except that he doesn’t encourage memorization and wants you to create in the moment. It seems taking the basic class is necessary to learn how he goes about his technique. It seems really intangible the way I’m describing it, but I left completely fascinated. I want to read his book: At Left Brain Turn Right. This I think will give a better idea of what to expect.
Improv!!! Every comedy casting person has said that improv is a must. I am currently taking an introductory class at UCB (Upright Citizens Brigade) and LOVING IT!!! The other main schools in LA are Second City, iOWest, and Groundlings.

I know there are MANY more teachers I should visit and audit, but so far theses are my top choices. Now, to make the money to pay for them…. it’s all in the priorities. One thing is for sure. I want to keep training!

The Other Things in Life

I like being busy. Every quarter in college, I took 20-22 credits (normal was 15). After college, I worked a part-time job for 30 hours a week to pay the rent and was involved in shows another 20-30 hours a week. This idea of productivity and busyness is highly prized in our culture. The harder and longer you work, the better!
At some point during college, my pastor at the time, talked about the lost practice of the “Sabbath,” the day of rest. Few people, religious or not, keep this tradition in our fast-paced, advanced technology, stores open 24-7, modern world. For most of us in the theatre/film industry a day off is way too hard to nail down. For many years, I had to work the days that I wasn’t performing. Add that schedule to my need to always be doing something and resting becomes nearly impossible.

Whether or not it is a specific day or time of week, I keep being reminded that taking time for the other things in life is an important practice for a few reasons:

To let go! Remind myself that it isn’t all about me and what I do.
To spend time with people who make life worth living.
To be renewed and re-energized by the people/things that are the inspiration for our art.
To not burn out!

This is a constant battle for me, but taking time away is healthy and good. I’ve spent almost two months in LA and I still hadn’t done anything that didn’t have to do with the industry is one way or another. So, I’m purposing to take time for the other things in life, like:

Today, I took a hike in Griffith Park. I’d forgotten how much I like to hike and be outdoors. It was amazingly refreshing.
I’m reading a book from the fiction section, having nothing to do with acting or the business.
Last weekend, I spent the whole time with my husband: going out to restaurants, watching movies, cuddling. Just what we needed!

How are you purposing to enjoy the other things in life?

Celebrating Successes!

A couple days ago, I was waiting in line to register at Central Casting (an agency for background work- i.e. all the people you see who walk around on screen behind the actors) and I quickly started talking to a guy next to me. We figured out we had both moved to LA about the same time and bonded over the pursuit of our dreams. We admitted we have no idea what this journey holds for us, but it is worth a try!

(Here is where I want to dispel one of the gross misconceptions I had of the people in LA. Not everyone is superficial, selfish, and has had plastic surgery. Yes, they do exist, but they are the minority. The majority of people I have met are generous, kind and interested in helping a fellow artist find their way. It also takes about 5 minutes or less to tell which is which.)

Back to my story. As I continued talking with my new found friend, he mentioned how he has kept a diary of what he has done each day since he arrived in LA. He also noted that he would be including our pleasant and encouraging interaction among his experiences for the day. I loved that. Especially since my schedule hasn’t been clearly defined since I arrived, cataloging my actions is incredibly encouraging when you look back on how far you’ve come. This reminded me that I’d written a blog about celebrating my failures, but not about my successes. So here is my (not daily, but a cumulative) list of accomplishments since arriving in LA:

Successes!

Completed the 6 Weeks To LA course with Bonnie Gillespie
Signed up on LA Casting
Signed up on Actor’s Access
Got new headshots
Got a new edit of my reel
Got new business cards
Got new postcards
Updated my website
Joined Twitter
Made many online audition submissions
Had several auditions
Attended 5 Casting Director/Manger workshops at Act Now! and Actor’s Key
Audited 5 acting classes
Started my Show Bible, an ever evolving catalog of your target shows, agents, casting directors etc.
Started mailings to agents, managers, and casting directors
Went to the LA Actor’s Tweet Up
Went to a play reading
Have taken public transportation everywhere (except for a few rides and a borrowed car last weekend. Thank you, friends!). Now that’s an accomplishment in LA!
Registered to do paid on-set research (i.e. background work) at Central Casting
Helped on the set of my friend’s film
Went to a performance of Improv at iO West
Made many new friends!

Discoveries!

I need a job. For the money, but also for the distraction and the focus, if that makes sense. Having another (low-stress, with reasonable hours) job helps me appreciate the time I can devote to acting and use that time more wisely. Taking time away from the acting business is healthy.
I need my husband. (Duh!)
I need a supportive community around me.
Having an acting budget is so helpful. You could easily go bankrupt in this city with all the things that are necessary or helpful for your career. Setting priorities on how to spend your money will clarify all the decisions you make on a daily basis.
Everyone has an opinion! You can’t please everyone. (A manager just told me she “hates” my new headshots. Huh!)
Recognize what I can change and what I can’t. Focus on changing what I can.
Take joy in the little things.

Notice that I haven’t booked a job or signed an agent. Booking the job is such a small part of what is involved in this career. Doing all the other things listed above is what leads to booking the job. This is success! Persistence is the key. Everyone has a different story. Mine is unique to me. Yours is unique to you.

Business Relationships: Trust

I was planning on writing about my “type” journey this week, but I woke up thinking about something else: relationships. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a much more pressing subject to write about. The more I explore LA and wonder how to “make it”, the more I keep coming back to this theme of relationships.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s all about who you know.” Well, Yes and No. The longer I’m in this business and the more involved I get, I believe that is true, IF you quantify the word “know.” I used to hear this phrase and think just because someone knew of someone or had some connection (i.e. so-and-so’s nephew’s cousin’s dog needs and job and so they’ll give it to them) you had an “in.” However, I think this “know” goes deeper. It has a lot more to do with trust.
There’s a reason why directors often return to the same actors and crew, time and again. They’ve worked together, know how each other functions under pressure, and trust that future projects will have a similarly positive outcome. I have a friend who got a job because of his dad’s relationship with this production company. I’d wager to guess that the boss at the production company hired the son because he trusted that if the son was as dependable and hard working as his dad, hiring the son would be a smart choice. If the opposite were true, you can bet the son would still be looking for work. Good relationships build trust.
“Networking” has always kind of been a dirty word to me. It made me feel like I had to sell myself to people and put up with other people selling themselves to me, resulting in this superficial “network” of people using each other to get what they want. Yuck! However, as I look at the successful people(people who keep working) both in Seattle and LA, I’m beginning to see that these people have built a network of fellow artists who genuinely like each other and therefore like working together. No one keeps working with someone they absolutely hate and no one likes to be used, so how does this genuine relationship happen? Perhaps we need to reverse the scenario of networking I gave above. Instead of using people to get what we want, what if we found the people who want the same thing and work together to get there. Novel idea, right? (Not really, but I’m just discovering it myself.) Everyone wants people around them who’ve got their back. So, take the first step and be that for the other person. And if they don’t reciprocate, then you know you can’t trust them and you move on to the next person. Pretty soon you’ll have a group (i.e. network) of people who’ve got your back and you’ve got theirs. What better way to tackle this business than with a team of people around you that you can trust?

I’m preachin’ to myself here. As an introvert, it’s much easier to sit at home and watch a movie. Then I wonder why no one asked me to work on a project. I need to take the first step and offer to help. “Treat others the way you want to be treated”, right? Every time I’ve put myself out there, something positive has come back my way. So, what are my goals this week?

Putting myself out there.
Finding those people who have common goals.
Treating them the way I want to be treated.

My Headshot Journey

My very first headshot was taken by my dad. You should have seen the configuration of floor lamps and sheets hanging on the wall we had to make up a studio. It was right before my first audition out of college and I needed a headshot. My dad has always had a mild fascination with the camera as a toy to play with and use for the benefit of others. So, I made him my headshot photographer. For what we had to work with and the fact that my dad had never taken formal portraits or headshots of any kind, it was pretty decent! (Thanks for being volunteered, Dad!) The first thing the director said at my audition was, “You’re prettier in real life than in your headshot.” Oh! I had been so concerned with the lighting and how fat my shirt made me look that I hadn’t been thinking about whether or not the picture captured me. Maybe the picture was too dark and we didn’t catch the light in my eyes. Maybe I’d been preoccupied with the contortionist act I was performing. Or maybe it was something else, but I’d just learned my first lesson in headshots.

Lesson #1: Your headshot must look like you and you like your headshot. (Besides the fact that no one does black and white anymore.)

Fast forward. I am now having my headshots taken by a professional headshot photographer. He’s been recommended to me by one of my favorite directors. He and I have talked about what to wear and what not to wear. I’ve had my haircut a couple weeks before to let my hair readjust. I’m ready! We met at a dance studio and started the shoot. Here’s where something I hadn’t anticipated started to interfere with the process. I was uncomfortable. A middle aged man, whom I had never previously met, was taking pictures of me in a secluded room and trying to draw out a wide range of emotions for the camera. I want to be clear that this photographer was completely appropriate and did everything with integrity, but that didn’t change the fact that I didn’t know how to handle it at the time. After all was said and done, I had maybe three really good, natural looking shots.

Lesson #2: If you are uncomfortable, the camera knows it.

So, I was able to use those two or three shots for almost three years and get a lot of work. Last Summer I went to a casting workshop in Seattle with a casting director from LA and asked for her thoughts about my headshot. “There’s something not quite professional about it.” Keep in mind I was printing this headshot on card-stock (something another director had told me was ok). But there was also a difference between the style of Seattle theatre headshots and that of Hollywood film headshots. Ok. Time for new ones. This time I picked a highly recommended and sought after headshot photographer in Seattle who has an eye for the LA style, Susan Doupe. If you are in Seattle, go to her she is awesome! I picked out my outfits, got my makeup done and had a fabulous headshot session.
Now I’m in LA, using my quality, LA level heashots. A couple weeks ago I went to a casting workshop. The casting director looked at my headshot and gave me a scene where I play a serious government agent. After I finished the scene she said, “That was great! But I would never cast you as a serious government agent. In person you are cute and bubbly and in your early 20s. In your headshot you look like you’re in your 30s and a serious agent or mom.” She is not the first person to tell me the same thing.

Lesson #3: Makeup and wardrobe can make or break a headshot session.

Lesson #4: Know your type and how to capture that on camera.

So within six months of my latest headshot session, I go back the drawing board. Several things lent themselves to this headshot session success:

This time I had my friend, an experienced headshot photographer and actor, take my shots and I really was myself with her! (Audrey Matos)
I wore very little makeup (not because it over glamorized me, but it aged me!).
I wore clothes that are MINE, very ME, not something I picked out just for my headshot session (one of my wise husband’s pet peeves).
I now know my type (more on that later)!

Here is the result! Granted, this is only one step in the journey. I am sure that I’ll learn something else from this group of shots and know what to do better next time. It’s all a part of the journey. Enjoy!

Celebrating Failures!

Last week I wrote about getting over my fear of failure so that I could live life to the fullest! One of the steps in doing that is celebrating both my successes AND my failures.

A couple months ago, a friend of mine and I went to an audition together. As we were leaving, she admitted to me that she had forgotten to read the last page of the script and just walked out of the room. She was so embarrassed. As she was beating herself up over it and I was trying to tell her it wasn’t as bad as she thought, her best friend sent her this text, “I applaud your failure!” I was surprised and simultaneously impressed. While I had been trying to diminish what happened, her friend called it what it was AND made it something positive! The shame she felt was lifted and replaced with a sigh of relief. She could now hold her head high when she walked back into that room the next time. How powerful is that?! A simple change in perspective and posture towards an event can change everything. It is the same idea that this speaker talks about in a TED Talk I watched last December: The Failure Bow.

What if we could change our failures into something to be celebrated? After all, it means we risked something; we are human; and maybe we learned something. We are capable of so much…. if we let go of our fear of failure. I decided that as a part of celebrating my failures I want to share some of them with you, somewhat akin to a confession. My hope is that by sharing them 1) they’ll lose the power they hold over me and 2) this exercise will inspire you to celebrate your failures too. So, here we go!

I printed 150 ($100) unusable headshots!
I mis-named one of my directors on my resume and sent it to him! Ooops.
I paid for a Google Voice number with an LA area code for acting purposes, only to later find out I had chosen one from Compton!
I bought a $300 plane ticket and flew to an audition which was canceled while I was on the plane!
I paid for an acting class that wasn’t right for me!
I failed to save this blog and half-way through writing it, it got erased! (Ha!)

Some of these may not be that big of a deal. However, each one of them has carried a little bit of shame or regret and, if left to their own devices, could easily keep me from trying the same thing again.

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That felt good. Now I can move on. Thanks, everybody!

Now it’s your turn. You don’t have to tell me or share it publicly, but how are you going to celebrate your failures so that you can live life to the fullest?

Get Over Yourself!

There is no such thing as absolute perfection, so get over yourself!

I think we can all agree that we humans aren’t perfect.
Especially when it came to auditions, I used to worry if I was the “best” or if I was “perfect for the part.” However, I’ve found this to be a useless exercise. First, what does “best” mean? MY best? My best for TODAY? The BEST person who auditioned? Was I exactly what they wanted? These questions usually only become bigger and more haunting if you don’t get the role. The answers often made me feel lacking and like I would never “arrive” at that pot at the end of the rainbow, called “perfection.”
In addition, I used to idolize those people who got cast all the time(or at least in my mind they did)! What did they have that I didn’t? A certain look? A specific education? More talent? More connections? This led to jealousy, a deadly vice. Time and again, it would destroy any hope or confidence I ever had.
Through a series of ups and (mostly) downs in auditioning this last year, I have come to a revolutionary (and quite professionally helpful) conclusion! There is no such thing as “perfect” and there is no use answering those questions! JUST DON’T DO IT! Helpful, right? I know that advice wouldn’t have helped me at the time. THIS is what did help me.
One of the biggest pieces of my journey last year was applying for the Ensemble Training Intensive with Freehold Studio in Seattle. I spent most of the Summer hoping and waiting to hear if I would be accepted into the 10 month program which would consume my life for its duration. I thought, “This is the answer to all my auditioning woes!” I was tired of not getting cast and thought this would be the solution: intense acting training, connections with Seattle theatre professionals, and a great addition to my resume! I was ecstatic when I WAS ACCEPTED! I was even more devastated when, two weeks later, the program was CANCELLED, due to lack of funds and participation. Back to square one! As I picked myself up off the floor, I tried to find meaning in the failure of this plan. This is what I learned.

Improve in (post performance) self-evaluation! You can’t go by what the auditors say, don’t say or whether or not you get cast. There are too many factors for any of that to be an accurate or helpful evaluation of how you did. Set a goal for yourself or pick one aspect of acting you are looking to improve and use that as your benchmark for your post-evaluation. If you met it, great! If you didn’t, you know what you need to work on for next time! (If you don’t see how or where you can improve, get over yourself. Everyone has areas in which they can improve. Seek the advice of a coach or director/actor friend you trust.) When you find areas for improvement, tell yourself….
“I may not be the best at ________, but I CAN get better!” I used to be so afraid of admitting a fault. If someone pointed out a flaw, I was crushed! As if, if I couldn’t do something now, I never would. FALSE. GET MORE TRAINING! There were all sorts of excuses I made for not getting more training, but it makes a HUGE difference. I thought a masters or intensive program would answer all my auditioning problems, which was false. However, desiring to improve and address certain areas was the best goal I could have made for myself. I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have picked one or two specific things on which I wanted to improve, pursued training, and noticed a difference in that area! And lastly…
Celebrate your successes AND your failures! Success is not just limited to booking a job; it’s any sort of acting breakthrough or achievement of a goal you set for yourself. YOU define success for yourself: going to that audition, taking that acting class, or approaching that agent who is just out of reach etc. And possibly most importantly, celebrate your failures. Why? Because you took a risk! If you take any sort of risk in life, you will fall. Your ultimate success is determined by how you handle that fall. Celebrate your effort and risk taking ability! How to celebrate? You choose. Have fun with it!

These revolutionary ideas have made this process a whole lot more enjoyable and is especially applicable as I make my transition into the LA market! Those people, who I thought had achieved perfection, were only working hard, never quitting, and personally investing in this career we call acting! Instead of beating myself up over missed opportunities and telling myself I will never join the actor elite, I have joined their ranks, not because I am at the top, but because I have decided to work hard, no matter what the cost or the result! The joy IS in the journey!

Own it! (Part 2)

I was taught to respect authority and seek wisdom and guidance from those above me. That’s all great. However, I think that went too far into my personal and professional life. I was so afraid to make a mistake that I wouldn’t move at all. I would pinpoint the expert and ask, “What should I do? I’ll do it.” I had no problem with execution, the problem was the decision process. “Should I audition with this monologue or that one?” I would take whatever advice I received without checking in with my own thoughts to listen to what I wanted. This type of mindset led to passivity and a belief that my circumstances and career were primarily out of my control. Now I’m learning the second part of owning it: taking responsibility for my career — where I’m at and where I want to be.

Know Myself!

In order to know where I want to end up, I need to know where I started. Part of that is type and marketability. In Seattle, knowing that I was an ingenue was specific enough. Not in LA. In coming to understand my type and cast-ability, I’ve had to embrace parts of me that I’ve struggled with for years.

“Remember how the other kids made fun of you in middle school and high school? Of course you do. Try to figure out what specifically that was about because that’s your money ticket! In [LA] … you have to find a way to stand out from the pack.”
–Assaf Cohen, from “Self-Management for Actors” by Bonnie Gillespie

4963_90158713589_2965966_n — “The Belgian Pretzel”

Yes, ok, I get it. My hair! It can be wild, crazy, weird and beautiful. It is a huge part of me- literally. Along with that, I’m embracing my personality, which can be weird, funny, shy, imaginative, critical, pensive, and passionate. These and more, are all a part of who I am and what I bring to any character. Just with these things, I’ve learned one type I can play is the quirky girl-next-door. (I could write more on the subject of type, but I’ll leave that for another time.)
Secondly, and often more importantly, I have to know what I want. My goal has to be clear. Otherwise, I’ll be trampled by every person who is an authority in this market: agents, managers, casting directors, teachers, and other actors. Of course it is wise to ask for advice, but I need to know for myself. Maybe even knowing isn’t enough. I have to trust my instincts about people and the right path for me. I have to feel it in my gut!

Research Everything!

Knowing what I want is just the first step in taking responsibility for my career. How can I trust my own instincts and line up my goals with those around me if I don’t know anything about them? I am currently taking Bonnie Gillespie’s course “Six Weeks To LA,” as well as reading her book, “Self-Management for Actors.” Over and over again she reminds us to research, research, research. Want an agent or manager? Research. I have to know if this agent or manager is reliable, good to work with, and hard working. Want to be on the new hit show? Research. I have to know who the casting director is, who the actors are and who represents them. Want to get in with a certain casting director? Research. I have to know who they work with, if they offer workshops, if they go to showcases and which ones. It’s my own fault if I sign the contract too early, know nothing about my market, and can’t find a path to my own goal. (And if you don’t know where to start, go to someone like Bonnie and take a class or read a book.)

Hustle to get it!

Another bad actor habit Bonnie talks about is blaming a lack of success on someone or something else. An agent won’t fix all your problems. Working actors work hard, with or without an agent. Build relationships. Go to workshops and mixers. Volunteer in a casting office. You can’t determine the outcome, but you can determine your input and that is the key! Who cares the most about whether or not I am a working actor? I do. Well, I better own it and make it happen!

I’m just now coming around to this way of thinking.

What about you, are you owning it?!?

Own it! (Part 1)

If it follows you wherever you go, just embrace it!

(…or call the police!)

The first time I acted in a full length play, it was Shakespeare and I was ten years old. From that point on, I knew I would be an actor.

I pursued theatre all through high school and college, graduating with a Bachelors of Arts in the subject. Post graduation, I started to audition. You would think my childhood determination should have carried me through, but the fear of competition and rejection held me back. I banked everything on one audition. Not getting cast, I soon declared I didn’t love acting enough to go through “all that.” It was easier to either leave acting altogether or hide in the director’s chair.

257_20221050782_1029_n — “Laughing Wild” with The Prague Playhouse

So I left! I moved to Prague, Czech Republic to teach English. But my hiatus only lasted a month and a half. Half-way through my certification course my instructor sat me down and said, “I know you have a background in theatre. My friend tours an educational theatre company around the Czech Republic. Would you be interested?” Stunned, yet excited, I said, “Yes!” A few months later I was co-directing(i.e. hiding) and found myself standing-in for the lead actress during rehearsal. The other director confronted me, “I don’t know why you say you’re not an actor. You have great instincts! There’s always a need for more training, but never let that stop you!”

6000_151391970782_3669738_n — “Camp Super Friend” at FringeJR in NYC

Fast forward a couple of years. I was back in Seattle, certain that my destiny lay in non-profit work, when a previous acting teacher asked me to perform in a Christmas show, no audition needed. Almost simultaneously a professional theatre company, with which I had interned, asked me to join their touring company, again, no audition needed. People were ASKING and PAYING ME to do this?!? That was when I finally started to take the hint!

I started auditioning for real, got an agent and continued acting professionally. However, even after a couple years of pursuing this career, I still struggled. Recently, when the time came for me to quit my part-time job, I was searching for something to take it’s place. An opportunity came my way which looked ideal on paper. I knew I was perfectly qualified, could be pretty happy taking this position and loved the idea of financial stability. But it wasn’t acting. Not only was it not acting, it would hinder me from pursuing acting fully. My heart didn’t flutter at the thought. It wasn’t my dream come true.

This whole time I’ve been afraid of commitment, making excuses and running from the possibility of failure, but this acting thing has persistently followed me everywhere I go. Someone once reminded me that “ambivalent” doesn’t mean you don’t care; it means you feel two ways about something and it paralyzes you. On the one hand, I loved acting so much; but I was so afraid of it not panning out, that it froze in my tracks. No more! Who knows what this career holds for me, but it is sure to hold nothing if I don’t claim it for my own!

Here I am in LA, owning it! I AM AN ACTOR!

Stay tuned for Own it! (Part 2): “So, I’m an actor. Now what?”