I told you I’m moving to LA, right? I had this great situation worked out: a house with five people, three of them actors, two of whom were close friends from college; only $300/month rent (including food); cars to share/borrow; and an ideal location. Then all that fell through!
My friend called me last week to tell me they would no longer be living in the house…. as of Sunday. She was incredibly optimistic and exuded a peace which carried me over for a couple days — that is, until anxiety started setting in. It got worse every time a friend or acquaintance started inquiring as to the details of my move. Those questions only cemented the craziness of this plan (or lack thereof). “So, you’re flying to LA next week and you don’t have a car or a place to live.” Starting to sweat, I squeak out, “Uh, yes.” I start asking myself, “Where AM I going to live? How much is that going to cost? Will I have enough money to make it? Should I postpone? Should I even go?”
All of a sudden, I recognize the familiar sound of change and doubts that come with it. Several years ago, I moved to Prague, Czech Republic with only two suitcases and a plan of teaching English: no contacts, no Czech, and no return ticket. Within three months, I had completed a certification course, landed an English teaching job and started acting for an educational theatre company. I spent a year and a half in Prague, during which I had some of the most amazing life experiences and met some life-long friends, including my future husband. If all that can come out of such uncertainty, surely I can brave a new city with a loving and supportive husband, where they speak the same language and I have friends around every corner. The thing is, in my experience, the most amazing things happen when you let go and step out into the unknown. Is LA daunting? Yes. Will a living situation work out? Yes. Will I find a way to get around? Yes. Will things turn out the way I expect? No. Is this adventure worth the risk? HELL, YES!
“The camera already loves you deeply.” –Michael Caine
“The first time you go out in front of a camera is not like going out on a first date. You don’t have to make a special impression. The camera doesn’t have to be wooed; the camera already loves you deeply. Like an attentive mistress, the camera hangs on your every word, your every look; she can’t take her eyes off you. She is listening to and recording everything you do, however minutely you do it; you have never known such devotion. She is also the most faithful lover, while you, for most of your career, look elsewhere and ignore her.”
On first reading this excerpt from Michael Caine’s book, “Acting In Film,” I fell in love with this analogy. Coming from a theatre background, at times I’ve struggled a little with the transition to film. I’ve had theatre directors instruct me to “show” the audience what I am feeling. In contrast, casting directors for film told me my face was too expressive. I ended up feeling like I needed to dumb down or lessen my facial expressions for the camera, which only stunted the honesty of my performance. This tension between too much and too little expression was only heightened in the audition room where there is the added pressure of “proving” myself.
Realizing that the camera already loves me has completely changed the way I approach the camera, especially in auditions. I’ve started trusting that she, the camera, will see the truth in me. I no longer need to win her affection or prove my worthiness. I’ve found freedom in this unconditional love. I can just be in the moment and that will be enough.
Thank you, Michael Caine, for letting me know!
Stay tuned for more acting insights from Michael Caine and others.
L.A. here I come!
It’s been a long time coming…
I grew up in Seattle, making yearly trips to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, attending shows at the Seattle Children’s Theatre, Taproot Theatre and the Bathhouse. I fell in love with Shakespeare at an early age and was easily grasping the language and playing characters by age 9. By Jr High, it was a given that I would be an actor, in the theatre, of course! I grew up a THEATRE snob.
Following my college graduation with my THEATRE degree, I’m visiting a college friend who moved to LA to pursue her dreams. We’re sitting in a sushi restaurant across the table from her fiancé. First thing he asks, “When are you moving to LA?” I laugh and dismiss the question. “LA isn’t for me. I am not for it,” I declare.
Fast forward a few years. I was invited by a fellow theatre actor to be a part of the 48 Film Project, where groups compete to make the best short film, all in 48 hours. I have never done anything like this before! We met on Friday night at 7pm, just before this crazy event began. Within the hour the writers were soon typing away. We actors were on-call, with a promise to be contacted by midnight if we were cast. Midnight came and went. I went to bed, thinking I can have a calm and relaxing Saturday, only to be woken up at 4:30 am. “You are the lead! Can you be on set at 10am? Bring x, y, and z for costume pieces.” OK! Being my first time on camera, I was thrilled and simultaneously frightened. But there’s no time to panic. There’s only time to do! I went to set. We filmed my first scene. Changed location. Filmed second scene. Changed location. Filmed last few scenes. And by 7pm I was done! The director spent the next 24 hours editing and reediting the film. Finally, with minutes to spare, we got our masterpiece, ‘The Belgian Pretzel” in on-time!
About a week later, the 48 hour Film Project hosts a screening in a real movie theater and then the awards are given out. As soon as I saw my face I wanted to point and scream, “That’s me!” while at the same time crawl into a ball, just in case someone heard me. The awards…“And Best Acting goes to… ‘The Belgian Pretzel.’” WHAT?! “And finally, the one we have all been waiting for… Best Film goes to…’The Belgian Pretzel!’” Out of 52 groups, we won 5 of the 16 awards!(See complete list here.)
What an incredible experience! I didn’t realize until later just how lucky I was to be in a group of such talented and organized artists who were just at the beginning of successful careers. As for me, I would never be the same. Once you’ve experienced the magic of excellent film-making, you can never go back!
Shortly after that, I landed an audition, which gave me the lead in a short film and a co-staring role in a web series. Since then, my appetite for camera work has only grown and LA started calling my name. About the same time I fell in love and married a wonderfully talented musician who moved to Seattle to be with me. We kept saying, “We’re moving to LA in a couple months.” A few months went by. “We’re still thinking about it.” Another couple months went by. “The time just isn’t right.” Pretty soon, a couple months turned into a couple years. I will spare you all the details, but essentially, my husband turned to me a couple months ago and said, “I don’t want us to get 10 years down the road and you never got the chance you deserve. Now is the time!” And so, I quit my job. My loving and supportive husband sold a guitar, a 1960 Fender Jazzmaster mind you, to help pay for the trip and…. I’m going!
Dear LA,
I don’t know what you have for me, but I’m giving you a shot. I’ve heard you can be cruel and ruthless, but I’m hoping you’ll be kind. I will work hard and give my all, because I know you’d expect nothing less. Here I come!
Charissa J Adams
CHARISSA J. ADAMS 