How often do you say this? “I can’t…” I find myself saying it more than I like to admit. As much as I remind myself to be positive and problem solve creatively, I can easily find myself getting locked into a prison of my own perception. This has happened in relationships… I told myself, “I can’t be the first to express my feelings for a boy;” in jobs… “I can’t get a better job;” in acting… “I can’t approach that casting directors or that agent.” The list goes on. And I could give you so many examples of how, when I questioned the reasons behind “I can’t,” I realized there was almost always a way through or around my perceived obstacles.
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Most recently, the “I can’t” phrase came up again in one of the most benign and trivial areas of life: social media. My husband and I were discussing our likes and dislikes of various social media sites and I admitted that my affinity for Facebook is dwindling, but “I can’t get off Facebook because of acting.” Facebook is my main networking tool, especially in Seattle. Immediately, Michael questioned the reasons behind that. Of course, it is a helpful tool, but what is the worst thing that would happen if I got off of Facebook for a while? When I asked myself that question, I thought the pros actually might outweigh the cons(for a time). So I chose to get off Facebook for a while.
I have been off of Facebook completely for over a month and a half. I don’t miss it at all! The only times I think about getting on are so that I can message someone whose email address or phone number I do not already have. I feel so much freer than I did before. I haven’t decided yet what my relationship with Facebook will be in the future(it is still a good networking and contact tool), but there are a few things I have discovered about myself while being without it.*
- More present.
- Less jealous.
- Happier and more at peace with life.
- Not constantly evaluating my life in terms of worthy “statuses.”
- Not overloaded by information about “friends” who are actually acquaintances.
- I have been reminded that sharing and receiving news in person can be so much more gratifying and meaningful.
- Facebook hardly ever left me feeling happy and uplifted when I got off of it. I don’t miss that!
- I’m sure I’m missing out on events and announcements…. but I don’t know what I’m missing out on, so ignorance is bliss!
This blog isn’t meant to convince you to get off Facebook(although I wouldn’t complain if it did), but remind us all that some things we think are huge obstacles are actually little pebbles which can easily be tossed aside. Maybe there’s something you would like to change about your life, but fear of “the worst that could happen” is holding you back. What is that something? Can you change your perspective or do without it? I know I have to keep reminding myself to take a step back and look at things from a different angle. I have that power and often I CAN… do something about it!**
*Yes, I recognize the irony of posting this blog on Facebook. While I have obviously broken my Facebook fast, I know that my relationship with it will be different from now on.
**In no way is this meant to minimize larger fears, obstacles, and issues, only bring a new perspective to the little things we can change in our everyday lives.